


Gains

by wingedbears



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Amputee Bodhi, Bodhi/Cassian Week 2017, Found Family, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 14:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingedbears/pseuds/wingedbears
Summary: They all lost something after the Battle of Scarif.Bodhi loses an arm.





	Gains

**Author's Note:**

> Kind Readers,
> 
> This story has Bodhi lose an arm. I am not an amputee. I tried to write this with respect and love to amputees, but if I have failed in either of those categories, please do let me know. 
> 
> This is also not a work in progress, but I might take this story and stretch it out at a later date.

After Scarif, they try to piece their lives together. They all lost something of themselves. A homeworld, a father, a sense of self, and for Bodhi, the additional loss of his arm. For reasons unknown but accepted by their crew, has refused a cybernetic replacement. 

He wears his sleeve pinned up and empty on his right side, and fumbles with his tools using his non dominant hand. His work and his mind seemingly deteriorate.

Cassian, not knowing what else to do, grounds him from missions.

Bodhi doesn’t react to this, just accepts it like he knew this was coming, and that he knows what’s coming next too. 

But Cassian refuses to let Bodhi go.

 

Kay approaches him during the cleanup of a battle a few missions after Bodhi is grounded, and gestures for him to follow. 

Curious, Cassian follows.

Kay leads him to an irreparable labor droid, a BLX-4. “For Bodhi,” he says after a moment of silence. 

“Buddy, that droid is never coming back.”

Kay does not have eyes to roll, but the lights shining out of his faceplate look like they want to do so. Kay leans over and rips the right arm off. “For Bodhi,” he repeats, then drags the arm behind him as he stalks back to the ship.

When they get back to the base, Kay presents the arm to Bodhi. “It will be useful for repairs,” Kay explains.

Bodhi looks hesitant, but takes it anyway.

Cassian takes it as a good sign.

 

The arm, after Bodhi fixes the inner wirings, is attached to Bodhi.

It’s a week later that the arm starts to develop a personality.

 

“The BLX-4 labor droid is unique in that when not given regular memory wipes can develop personalities,” Jyn reads from the holopad as Bodhi — or Bodhi’s arm — reaches out without his looking to open the seat bench next to him and starts rummaging. She shrugs. “It’s not that unusual.”

“It does what I want it to,” Bodhi says, watching his new arm, “It just, does things that I don’t think about?”

“Cybernetic enhancements are still relatively new,” Nurse Gabrik says, reaching out for the holopad Jyn grabbed from him. He looks nervous with his patient suddenly developing a sentient droid arm and the factor of four extra people in the examination room. “Family only,” he said when he first saw them all standing there. Cassian crossed his arms but no one else moved. Kay’s head could be seen over the flimsy divider, but he was, technically, out of the room.

“And your surgery is still fresh. If it’s not exhibiting feral droid characteristics, then I would suggest that you wait it out,” the nurse concludes. “If your arm starts doing things you don’t want, then we can set you up with a surgeon as soon as possible.”

Bodhi frowns. “Can’t I,” he pauses. “Train it? Or train the synapses that are connected?”

“All the synapses are connected,” Gabrik insists. “The arm either has retained memory from it’s previous — incarnation — or it’s developing a personality from the behavioral circuitry matrices embedded in the arm. We can’t wipe the memory from an arm.”

“So your solution is to either live with it or remove it,” Cassian says flatly. The actual urge to punch someone in the face doesn’t come along often for Cassian, at least not in noncombat, so he’s not sure if he should savor or swallow the feeling.

Gabrik doesn’t shrug, but he does sheepishly look down at his holopad. “I’ll look into it further. This is only a first examination.”

“But nothing is wrong with it, right?” Bodhi asks.

Baze puts his hand on Bodhi’s shoulder. “There is nothing wrong with any part of you, little brother. We will accept you as you accept you.”

Bodhi blushes, but sits up a little straighter. Bodhi’s arm comes out of the bench with a bacta pack that it places on top of Baze’s hand.

 

Two weeks in with the new arm and Cassian lifts the ban. 

Cassian is running over diagnostics in the U-wing with Bodhi tinkering under the dash. Cassian’s holopad will occasionally blink and spew our new stats, but he’s learned it’s better not to ask Bodhi the technical details of what he’s up to, because Bodhi will sputter and go off on a trail of what is needed, and Bodhi won’t get any work done at all.

The holopad blinks again, and Cassian wants to hit the side of it, even though he knows that’s not how the wiring works. He waits for it to settle and his eyes drift downward to Bodhi. His left arm is up in the dashboard’s guts, and his right is groping for the hydrospanner, just out of reach. Cassian toes it over to the droid arm. It latches on, but not before giving Cassian’s ankle a soft squeeze.

“Bodhi,” Cassian asks after a minute, “did you see the doctor about your arm again?”

“No,” Bodhi says, sounding resigned. “Nurse Gabrik says the arm isn’t going feral, so it should be fine.” He pauses, then, “Are you about to pull rank on me to make me see the doctor?”

“No, if you think it’s fine; it’s fine,” he says. “I was just asking for an update.”

“Oh,” Bodhi says, and continues working.

They sit in silence, and Cassian knows there’s a million other things he could be — should be — doing, but being here with Bodhi feels so peaceful, and his counselor insists that he needs to take personal moments. So he watches his holopad blink at him and listens to Bodhi’s breathing.

“Cassian?” Bodhi asks after a minute.

“Yeah?”

“I think my arm is an extension of me.”

Cassian doesn’t say anything. Bodhi will fill the gaps.

“I mean, I think it knows what I feel, even though I can’t feel it. I still feel my arm, my old arm, but this arm, I don’t know.”

“You mean it collects memories in the matrices that are yours?”

“I think so,” Bodhi says, but adds, “I think it’s collecting my experiences, and it uses them to read my emotions. It— it’s like my arm has no inhibitions.”

“So it does what you want to do.”

“Right. Do you think I still need to see the doctor?”

“No,” Cassian says slowly, “But don’t tell Nurse Gabrik, he’ll be even more scared.”

Bodhi laughs. 

 

With this newfound information, Bodhi starts treating his arm not as other, but rather like a impish part of himself. He will sneak bites off other’s trays, twirl his hair mindlessly during important meetings, and talks with his right hand, but not his left. It makes an odd picture, but everyone just accepts it. 

Cassian and Bodhi are standing next to each other in the hangar discussing the final diagnostics when Leia approaches them. It’s a little unusual, she’s normally dealing with Mon Mothma or shouting at Han Solo. 

“Major Andor I have a new mission for you,” she says, and Cassian straightens.

“Yes, Princess,” he replies. His eyes shift over to Bodhi, still looking distracted about the U-wing.

He’s about to dismiss Bodhi, but before he say “Lieutenant,” or pull away, Bodhi’s right hand slips into his left. The hand is absurdly cold, but Cassian holds on, and Leia notices. Bodhi isn’t even paying attention, and Cassian knows he can’t feel his hand, so Cassian, in Bodhi’s view brings up their entwined hands and kisses the back of the plating in full view of his superior officer.

Bodhi blushes, and tries to tug his hand away. Cassian smiles and sticks both hands in his pocket to keep them warm.

Leia looks exasperated and amused, but continues like nothing has happened.

 

“Sorry,” Bodhi says after Leia leaves. 

“About what?” Cassian tries, trying to be blase that Bodhi, some deep part of him, wants to hold Cassian’s hand.

“You’re right. I mean,” Bodhi smiles slowly and wickedly, and says, “You’re really taking it in _hand_.”

Cassian groans while Bodhi cackles. He pulls their hands out of his pocket and lets go, perfectly perfunctory.

“I just didn’t mean to _disarm_ you,” Bodhi continues, delighted. 

“Bodhi, please.”

“Sorry,” Bodhi says, still smiling. “You’ve got to hand it to me, though…”

Cassian rolls his eyes. “Just go get everyone and tell them we leave tomorrow at oh six hundred,” he says.

“Don’t worry, I can handle it!”

Cassian growls, and taking a lesson from Bodhi’s arm, grabs onto Bodhi’s collar and smashes his lips onto Bodhi’s, effectively shutting him up.

Bodhi just blinks at him when Cassian pulls away.

Cassian is horrified. What if —

“That’s probably just going to encourage me to make more bad jokes if that’s your punishment, you know that, right?”

Cassian sighs, and rests his forehead against Bodhi’s. 

“I can’t really stop you,” he says instead.

 

Bodhi has modified his arm to detach just past his shoulder. “It hurts to sleep with it,” he explains the first time.

Cassian grows used to waking up to the sounds of Bodhi’s arm clicking back on, and makes sure to sleep on the right side of the bed, because Bodhi will play with his hair on that side, but not on the left.

Bodhi accommodates him lovingly, as Cassian will mumble how he loves every part of him into the pillow when Bodhi starts to comb through Cassian's hair.

"I love all your pieces, too."

**Author's Note:**

> Look, if they could just hold hands for the rest of time, I'd be happy, okay? 
> 
> Check out [BodhiCassian Week](http://bassianweek.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr for other rocking works coming out this week!


End file.
